June 12, 2025

Facing the Deep: What Scuba Diving Taught Me About Divorce, Fear, and Growth

I recently returned from a family vacation in Curaçao, a breathtaking island in the southern Caribbean Sea near Venezuela. With its pastel-colored Dutch architecture, the iconic Blue Curaçao liqueur, and some of the best scuba diving and snorkeling in the Caribbean, it’s a destination as vibrant as it is peaceful.

For years, scuba diving had been on my bucket list—one of those “just outside my comfort zone” experiences I was both excited and nervous to try. Part adventure, part inner journey, it represented so much more than just a dip beneath the waves.

On this trip, my 9-year-old niece and I signed up for a beginner scuba class through our resort. I listened carefully as our instructor explained breathing techniques, underwater communication, safety tips, and the risks.

The Risks: Lung injuries. Ruptured eardrums. Decompression sickness.
The more I learned, the more anxious I became. My fear started to take over.

But there was one rule the instructor repeated again and again:
Never. Stop. Breathing.

The Weight of Fear

With my oxygen tank strapped on and my fins ready, I felt awkward, heavy, unsure.

My mind spun with what-ifs:

What if I panic?
What if I can’t breathe?
What if I go too deep and can’t come back up?

Uncertainty. Silence. Depth. The unknown.

Even before entering the water, I made a conscious choice to focus on the one thing I could control:

My breath.
In. Out. Slow. Steady.
Never stop breathing.

As we descended, the water got quieter—but somehow more alive.
And all I could do was breathe.

The Beauty Beneath

Twenty-five feet below the surface, I was stunned by what I found:

Vibrant fish darting through coral gardens.
Shafts of sunlight filtering through the water like stained glass.
A calm, surreal stillness—punctuated only by the sound of my breath and the gentle bubbles from my regulator.

And suddenly… the fear dissolved.
What replaced it? Awe. Gratitude. Presence.
I was swimming in a world I never would’ve seen if I had let fear win.

The Unexpected Parallel Between Scuba Diving and Divorce

It may sound strange, but the emotional experience of scuba diving mirrored my experience with divorce in profound ways.

Both journeys were filled with:

Fear of the unknown: What’s beneath the surface? Will I survive it?
Fear of losing control: In both diving and divorce, you surrender to something bigger.
Fear of not making it back: Back to “normal,” back to yourself, back to stability.

What I Learned from Scuba Diving (and Divorce)

These two seemingly unrelated experiences taught me the same life lessons. Here’s what stayed with me—above and below the surface:

1. Breathing is your lifeline.

In scuba, if you panic and hold your breath, you risk serious harm.
In divorce recovery, it’s the same. You breathe through:

Grief
Fear
Anger
Uncertainty

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324417
Let your breath guide you. Never stop breathing.

2. Trust what’s holding you.

Underwater, I trusted my gear. My training. Myself.
During divorce, I leaned on my support system:

Therapy
Journaling
Friends
My inner voice whispering, “You’re going to be okay.”

3. The deep isn’t empty—it’s full of life.

I expected the depths to be dark, lonely, and cold. But they were alive with beauty.
The emotional depths of divorce were the same. Painful, yes—but also revealing. I found strength, resilience, and parts of myself I hadn’t seen in years.

4. You don’t return the same.

After resurfacing from my dive, I wasn’t the same person.
After divorce, I wasn’t either.

But I returned with:

Courage
Clarity
Confidence
A new, more authentic version of myself

Bucket Lists Aren’t Just About To-Do’s

Scuba diving wasn’t about thrill-seeking. It was about:

Breaking through fear
Living intentionally
Saying yes to life on my terms

Your bucket list doesn’t have to be about skydiving or climbing mountains. It can be about showing up fully, even when you’re scared.

You Don’t Have to Be Fearless to Be Free

When I came out of that water—salty, soaked, and smiling—I hadn’t conquered fear.

But I had danced with it.

I said, “You can ride shotgun, but I’m still driving.”

That felt like freedom.

If You’re Standing at the Edge of Something New…

A breakup.
A big move.
A career shift.
A transformation you didn’t ask for.

Let me tell you something:

You can be scared.
You can take your time.
But don’t let fear keep you stuck.

Because what’s waiting for you on the other side might be more beautiful than you ever imagined.

Whether you’re diving into the Caribbean or starting over after heartbreak…

Just. Keep. Breathing.

In. Out.
Slow. Steady.
Never stop breathing.

Final Thought

Growth doesn’t happen at the surface.
It happens when we’re willing to go deep—through pain, through change, through fear.

That’s where the magic lives.

So here’s to your next dive—whatever that looks like for you.

To saying yes before you’re 100% ready.
To choosing courage over certainty.
To discovering a life that’s more vibrant, grounded, and authentically you.

And remember:

You don’t have to be fearless to be free.

If you’re navigating divorce and wondering what you really need to move forward with clarity and strength, I created a free guide just for you.
Download your copy of 25 Divorce Essentials—a compassionate checklist to guide you on how to let go after divorce and stay grounded through the journey.

You’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself

HI THERE, I’M Kimberly Lorah

I'm a compassionate divorce coach based in Asbury Park, NJ, serving clients virtually near and far. I help women navigate divorce with courage, strengthening resilience and empowering them to embrace their next chapter with peace of mind.

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HI THERE, I’M Kimberly Lorah

I'm a compassionate divorce coach based in Asbury Park, NJ, serving clients in person in Monmouth County and virtually near and far. I help people navigate divorce with courage, strengthen resilience and empowerment to embrace their the next chapters with hope and optimism.